Partner Duties!!

Let’s talk birth partner duties. These people have a big role to play during labour and birth. Not as big as yours, but they’re up there! So let’s break it down together and put things in place that will make them go from “Helpless” to “Hero”.

• Who

• What

• Where

• When

• Why

The who.

Your birth partner is usually your spouse, but with ever changing times, this could be your sister, mother or even your friend.

Bottom line- a birth partner is someone who you trust and love, and over all “gets you”. As a doula, I respect this person and I can usually assist them to provide physical support if that’s what you want, because after all, this is your story and your memory! Take a minute to let that sink in. People think once they hire a doula, that the doula will or has to do it all, and that they can get in the way of birth partners. Now I can’t talk for every doula- but Doula-La listens to what you want and need.

The what.

The birth plan that’s what. Birth plans only work if everyone that’s close and involved knows what and where it is. Make sure they understand what you would like to happen. Aside from this, your birth partner can observe your muscles and do certain things like, is your jaw really tense? They could gently encourage you to relax, or perhaps gently place their hands or fingers in that area as a reminder. They could also encourage you to change positions. This is a great one and u wish I told my partner to be my reminder. I was so focused on the breathing, amongst other things, movement didn’t come naturally to me in that moment. So, having him remind me and help me move would have been great!

There are so many birth partners tips and tricks and I could go on all day. I defiantly offer something on this topic, take a look at my services for more.

The where.

No matter where you plan to give birth, usually in a hospital, I suggest you do a run through or at least a drive by.

Make sure they know what hospital, how to get there, where to initially go, like the assessment centre. After getting assessed they will probably need to move the car- do they know where the car park is?

It’s simple stuff, but know that having this stuff thought out will not only put their mind at ease, but yours too.

The when.

Talk about the plan with them when labour kicks off. No! You’re not rushing to the hospital after the first contraction. This is a marathon, not a race. Make sure they know who to contact. Are they contacting your midwife or doula ? Do you have other children that will need to be cared for? Let them help you by doing some of the contacting and organising.

The why.

Because! It’s show time! and this can mean a whole lotta emotions not just for you, but for them. Thinking through the role of the birth partner and what it means to them and you, will help decrease any stressors and anxieties. It’s you taking control too. This can get you feeling really empowered.

As a doula I really like working with dads and birth partners. Book a 45min ‘birth partner tips and tricks’ and we can do through some info and I can teach them some tips and tricks to Support you through your labour.

Remember this is your story and your memory that I hope you will love and cherish forever. If something doesn’t sit right with you - don’t do it! It’s as simple as that! But keep in mind that marvellous support person you’re gonna have with you. People aren’t mind readers. So, having discussions about these things is really important.

I hope that this blog helped and I would love to know what you think! Send me a DM or an email on your thoughts or experiences with birth partners. I’m sure there’s some great stories out there and I would love to hear them!